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What did I learn from Joseph Kramer?

Joseph is a kind and intelligent man with a great deal to teach. He gave two classes at Schwelle Sydney on 26 & 27th August, 2013.

What did I learn from him?

1. To focus your attention during sex.

2. That sex can practiced in the yogic sense.

3. That masturbation can be undertaken in very different positions.

4. There is a high you may get from watching porn that you don't get from any other sexual activity, because with porn you may select the very thing that most turns you on. Porn permits you to be extremely specific. 

Kramer is interested in how to watch porn, how to use it. He puts his attention onto the viewer rather than onto the content, which is where attention is most often situated. He argues that the energy that may be generated from watching porn may be used to enliven the whole body. The erotic energy can be circulated like a dance. So he suggests, for example, standing while watching porn. He also suggests regularly shifting one’s attention from viewing the screen to turning around and focusing on the sensations in the body, moving the erotic sensations through the body by using movement.  

He also encourages the use of a fleshlight, which is a kind of sheath, where a hard cock may be inserted. If the fleshlight is anchored, it is possible for a man to produce sensations in the cock without using his hands. He can move, dance with his cock moving inside the sheath.  

5. Like almost all serious sex educators and yogis, Kramer puts a great deal of focus on the breath. When you move and touch erotically, you should breathe. This has had the effect of making me voice much more during sex. Most often in heterosexual sex, it is the woman who vocalizes most and the man is silent (unless he is ejaculating). However, with the yogic focus on movement, breath and the circulation of energy, I noticed that my own voice released. And thus even in the ‘active’ role, my receptivity was heightened. Fantasmatically, I became more feminine. It softened me to experience more even when I am active or 'giving'.

6. That anatomy of the genitals (male and female) is much more complex than I thought.

7. Kramer is the only sex educator I have ever met who questions the primacy of the visual in our culture.

8. He has studied the psychological research on learning and argues that deep learning most often happens independently and with a great deal of freedom. 

He was surprised that I knew many people he has worked with: Volker Moritz, Keith Hennesy, Veronika Vera, Annie Sprinkle. 

He spoke to me of his crisis of faith when he was in financial debt and people were not responding to his work. I asked him how he got through it. He said: 'I just kept going.’ 

He asked me whether I just sometimes invented something or did something because I felt that it was needed. I said ‘yes’. That is no doubt the inspiration behind his healthy porn-watching workshop: he feels that it is something that is needed, because people will in any case watch porn, because it is more and more available to people of more ages. I told him that I had recently invented the ‘Leading a Double Life and Exploring Integration’ that comes out of the problems many people have about outing themselves.

I learned a great deal from him. I would hope that perhaps he learned something from me, for example, about Martin Heidegger, against whom he seems to have a resistance. Heidegger's lifelong work was to insist on this distinction between presence and presencing. Heidegger writes that teaching is infinitely more difficult than learning, because in teaching you have to learn, and you also have to let learn (lernen lassen). This letting learn is what makes teaching infinitely more difficult than learning. (See Martin Heidegger’s What is Called Thinking?)

He seemed to like my vulnerability. He thought that vulnerability was closely linked to sexuality and eroticism.